Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Stepping Aside for the Lord of the Universe

Two things continue and deepen--seemingly two sides of the same coin--the longer and more intensely I seek and follow the Lord.

One, is this business of the "dressing down"; though that is not really an apt description as there is not really an anger and chastisement to it, at least not repeatedly.  Yes, in the first one--which lasted hours and was a turning point in my life--a rebirth . . . there was a bit of the reproach in it; a tough-love directness, firm, no frills . . . .

But, as in the present cases, it is not like He is scolding or punishing; rather, He just shows you how you really are and there is a natural feeling of shame and humility and feeling of reproof . . . which automatically follows and is a healthy part of breaking, humbling experience . . . . There is no need to wallow in this or over blow it, which is usually just a form of more self-indulgence, believe it or not even a sometimes veiled attachment to subtle psycho-sexual masochism . . . . .

Instead, you should find yourself duly "chastised" by the simple observation of the truth of things (as opposed to the stories you tell yourself) . . . sweet humility and awareness of our fallen, sinful, broke nature . . . and utter need for a Savior . . . . And this all leads (unless you selfishly cling to self loathing, self hatred, masochistic self judging and self pummeling) . . . to the OTHER side of the coin mentioned above:

The other thing that "continue(s) and deepens" . . . is the increasingly holy craving, yearning, motivation, longing etc., to be closer to the Lord and all related to the Father.  Not of any prideful feeling of exclusivity, but from the literal transformation of one's nature going on, you find a growing innate aversion to things of the flesh, of the world, of the wicked and perverse.  You can't get enough of God, of Jesus, of the Word, of preaching and teaching and especially, opportunities to SERVE and be a blessing to others.

More and more, like a breaking, blazing sun coming over the horizon, lighting every thing under its face, you can see the light that is holy God, Who is love, and you joy in the singeing and burning off of all your old parts, made of the "old man" . . . and the first tastes of legitimate Christ-like compassion and self sacrifice gently, but surely and steadily begin to sprout . . . sacred sprigs . . . in your soul . . . something new--a new creature.

I am ever more grateful . . . that He is a God of the weak, the broken, the defeated, the lost, the poor, the sick, the wretched . . . .
Realizing my complete and total need . . . for Him . . . toss the dead body on the wagon, all that's left is faith, which is there . . . a sprout . . . but faith says it will grow . . . and grow . . . and is . . . bound to be of the very power, beauty, perfection, love, knowledge, peace . . . of God, the Creator and King of the Universe . . . .

The world, looking back, is a laughable, shabby substitution . . . for the destiny of those, who lose their lives in, and for the Lord of the Universe . . . .
(ps,thanx bro for shout out,talk to you soon)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Birds, sticks, a path and dreams...

Me, on the path . . . .
Jackson, my youngest son just sent me this--a pic he took last summer/fall when he and I and Isaac went exploring and shooting pellet guns, in the semi-mysterious foothills by our house that I mention sometimes.

 This pic below is of a cute little owl named Archie.  He is small enough to sit in a hand, scruffy and with strange milky-opaque blue-pearlescent eyes (because of having cataracts . . . so he doesn't see too well).

Alexander, my oldest (27) is a falconer, among other things :) and recently caught a new bird--a Kestrel named Pika and the local falconer association folk got together for a (bird) beauty contest of sorts--and Al's mentor/falconry master brought 8 or so of his birds, Archie being one of them; he specializes in taking in and caring for birds with challenges, like this one with the eye problems . . . and they were all so cute and smart and beautiful.  There were hawks and owls and kestrels and even a golden eagle on show.  We dropped by to check it out.
This is a photo of a barn owl (sorry so small, using my cell phone:) . . . .

But it looked just like this:

The barn owl's are very unusual looking--they have a sort of human like face and spooky demeanor I think . . . .

Anyway, it was fun to see the birds and it is amazing how smart they are.  When Al got Pika and brought it up to our home, it was only a day or so out of the wild.  It hissed and hopped around on its tether, or it would play dead, like they do, where they just spread their wings out and drop on their back and lay there, not moving . . . .

But within a week or so, Al has the bird sitting on his hand, eating from his fingers and will fly away and come back, guided by a whistle or a piece of meat.  The markings on the feathers are so enchanting, like those of other birds and butterflies--I love to see God's handiwork and design up close . . . .

This is a Kestrel:

Treated with respect and love and care, most animals quite like the company of humans, and we were meant to mingle and share company . . . . "Beastmaster" . . . is included in the design (of "mankind"), and we thoroughly enjoy and are impressed with son "Xander's" abilities and interest in falconry.  It is all regulated by the state, though not yet so draconianly so that no one can get into it . . . and thank goodness there are people who are inspired to such hobbies and crafts, as it is mostly because of these (NOT the self-important "environmentalist" "Maria-Moonbeam" types) that there is conservation, protection, and attention given to the actual, realistic habitats and proper and necessary sometimes culling which ultimately PRESERVES and maintains the balance between species.

After the bird play, I took Isaac with me for some alone time.  He really needs to get out of the house more and get some physical activity going . . . so . . . we took a couple of Bokken's and Shinai to the big city park and went over some Kendo forms.

A Bokken is a Japanese wooden sword used for training, like this:

The Shinai are bamboo and leather and mostly used in the Kendo training as well:

Fairly quickly, we both wanted to spar "Fjording" style and got in a good hour of clacking, slashing, striking, though with the Bokken's . . . they are a bit too heavy and hard to use in classic "Fjording" "battle" (where body strikes are inevitable--indeed intended.)
[For those new to this, "Fjording" is a kind of stick fighting art I developed in high school and have continued teaching others, especially my boys and some of their friends over the years.  It involves, briefly, the seeking out of the "perfect" stick . . . testing it . . . on dead but still attached tree branches, and then "sword fighting" . . . somewhat "Kendo" style . . . each other, though with no pads, no gloves . . . usually in the mountains (hopefully accompanied by "dog and biscuit"--"Fjorder fare" cooked over a small camp fire).  Some of you, in fact, are fortunate to own authentic "KTL series" Fjording sticks I made a couple of years ago . . . .

Anyway . . . we both were yearning for a real, traditional "Fjord" . . . and, "Hobbitlands" being nearby . . . we went there to walk the trails and regale with the old stories and legends of the classic Fjorder era--Hobbitlands being one of the famed locale's where many great battles were fought--and some of the most renowned Fjording sticks were found.

It was a cool to crisp, slightly overcast afternoon . . . the trails frozen and icy with some snow and mud in places . . . . A creek runs at the bottom of the ravine.  "Hobbitlands" is a small little "park" of sorts in the middle of an old neighborhood on the "east bench" . . . and nowadays, too often crowded with people and couples walking their dogs . . . . But back in the day it was more wild--the trails un-tended . . . no fencing or signs . . . and pretty much a free run amongst the old trees and creek and scrub oak . . . maybe a quarter of a mile long . . . . And conveniently close to the high school where we were able to slip out occasionally, ahem, for exercise . . . and beer . . . :)

I took Isaac to "Last Battle Bridge" . . . where . . . I had the last duel with my best friend "Jeff" that would ever occur among the "Founding Fjorders" . . . . In fact, Angie . . . known to some here . . . has "Old Standard No.2" . . . the very stick/sword I used in that last skirmish!

Though it was difficult to do any proper "questing" for good sticks, because of all the foot traffic ( concern for people being alarmed that two long-haired, scruffy looking dudes climbing "off the trail" and "breaking branches") . . . we did manage to find two nice pieces and had a quick contest atop one of the stone battlements, er, monuments there at the head of the river where it comes out from under the street.

It was nicely melancholy . . . the memories . . . from a time that seems both, like another life, and also, just not that long ago . . . .  The simple fun, the strength and daring of youth--the good luck accompanying youthful foolishness (as in, someone really COULD have put an eye doing all that we did!) . . . . Hobbits, "gimlets" . . . listening to Yes, Kansas . . . reading Tolkien, Gor, Conan . . . fantasy novels . . . writing poetry for girls who would never see it . . . playing guitars, writing songs by camp fire, or alone in dim, sunset shafted bedroom . . . expecting some day to "make it" . . . drawing . . . dreaming . . . driving . . . . And lots of talk and thought and reading about God--always . . . . Big philosophical and mystical discussions, sitting on the side of a mountain overlooking the gray city . . . or around a table in the kitchen at some rich kid's party in "Federal Heights" . . . .

I still sometimes dream, if you could call it that, though it's more like a "flash fantasy" . . . brief, with no expectation that it will actually happen, though not quite totally shutting the door on the possibility . . . . Ie., I travel . . . am invited . . . to teach Fjording to little groups of people, or even individuals--we find some woods or mountains or nature to trek around in . . . .  And consult and talk about God--psycho-spirituality--the realm of the "noetic" . . . being a bit of a specialty and/or longtime area of study and interest of mine . . . . fjord and train and talk preparations, inner and outer and such .  . . .
If I could ride in on a horse, that would be even better, lol . . . but . . . well . . . who knows . . . .

God bless

Saturday, January 28, 2012

To Be Spat Out, Do Nothing

Back in the olden days . . . inspired, on (holy) fire missionaries would risk deprivations, disease, torture, death . . . going into the pagan and heathen lands to teach about the Love of God and the saving mission of the Son of God.  In most cases the natives were shocked and disbelieving that there could be such a God--ONE God Who wanted people to love one another, show compassion and mercy, where they were use to living under onerous superstitions and forever seeking appeasement or bribing of spirits and cruelty was considered a normal and acceptable part of every day life of survival.

The brave and selfless missionaries were driven to save souls and spread the light and life of the Gospel and many were martyred for the cause.

And often it would happen that these men and women of God would delve deep into wild territories, without speaking the native languages, yet somehow be able to teach the basics of Christ's life and mission, making a few converts . . . but then, if they died or left the area, just like the jungle creeps back over a made clearing, the darkness of magic, witchcraft, superstition, multiple gods . . . would return . . . .

For it takes a determined and incessant focus of energy to remain close to, or on The Way.  There is an entropy of The World, like the wild jungle, which is constantly wanting to settle to a darkened, sinful state; which is the curse of death . . . and unless a soul makes earnest, regular effort to harbor the supernatural light and life of the living God, then nothing is more sure than that person will start falling again into old ways and a stultifying inertia of Spirit.

Making an effort . . . to stay in the Spirit . . . is part of the human experience in coming to know God.  It is not a good sign . . . if, having supposedly found the truth, you then just fall back to your old self--nothing changes, and all you do is busy your time and thought with the things of the flesh, though claiming belief.

I am in sympathy with the Orthodox--the long tradition, shown and explained in the Bible--in admiring and honoring the saints and missionaries through the ages into today . . . who have renounced position, wealth, comfort, all for the preaching and exemplifying of the Gospel.  Of course, we do not worship men and women, and I only pray to God; but I warmly recognize and gain insight and light by observing and studying how GOD has worked through His people--His called and devoted servants in this fallen realm!

It is the LORD working THROUGH such venerable men and women . . . that I admire and not a day goes by where it is not found meet (and found spiritual MEAT) to read of their lives and missions, whether recorded in scripture or elsewhere--the SPIRIT giving the discernment to recognize their legitimacy--where the Lord's anointing displays . . . .

A lackadaisical . . . bored . . . lazy . . . inert . . . mechanical . . . rote . . . dry . . . dull . . . apathetic . . . indifferent . . . effort to know and live the truth . . . just won't cut it.  Myself, I abhor that state of life and know that  God does too, for He says either be hot or cold.  The lukewarm . . . He will not entertain nor tolerate.  Such will be spat out.

What is an example of lukewarm in this case?  Someone who says, "I don't really feel anything--I can't feel the Spirit . . . " and then they shrug and just go back to their (worldly) business.  Many so-called "believers" do this.
Whereas . . . the other type says, ""I don't really feel anything--I can't feel the Spirit . . . " but then refuses to accept this situation.  They strive, struggle, study, pray, cry, plead and may even try false and dangerous OTHER paths--ANYTHING . . . if need to be . . . to find and know and feel something beyond the merely mundane and physical-survival-based.  We have little else we can offer, but to make effort--make some exertion CONSISTENTLY in the direction of learning, realizing . . . the truth--the purpose of this life.  If you know or believe it is GOD . . . then regularly . . . you will be showing this by consistent effort in study, prayer, fellowship, support, preaching, teaching, thinking, acting . . . on and about God and those who have come and gone and remain who are likewise so devoted . . . . .

Otherwise, to be spat out, do nothing . . . .

And amazingly, besides . . . just living the way of the world (which equals doing nothing, in God's eyes) there are even religions you can join where "doing nothing" is the supreme goal . . . . !

But this is not the Gospel Way.  The Way is a vibrant, enthusiastic, energetic, busy . . . route . . . .

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Scraps and Shreds . . . .

This is already developing as a rather unusual sort of year.  Well, the weather is for one thing is certainly odd.  We have had maybe one or two normal type winter storms, and even those were not much; otherwise it has been strangely warm and mostly rainy.  We can't recall a winter quite like this.  It's been more like a long early spring, averaging in the 40s and even 50s to 60 Fahrenheit temps, where it should be in the 20s, teens and lower to around 0 degrees . . . .

Work wise, it's also been quite unusual.  I had a job at the end of December--transforming one of my long time clients' little home office . . . where it was all a dated, dark green  . . . the walls, trim, book shelves ... green, green, green . . . and he wanted it to look like natural wood grain . . . so got to use my nifty graining tools and masterly techniques :) to paint over it all . . . and make it look like ... a nice, warm, knotty pine--everything, the shelves, window frames, panes, walls . . . .

But then . . . nothing.  I had a nervous premonition before the start of the year that it might be different, and so far it is . . . exceptionally "quiet".  It's not unusual that there is a lull after Christmas work-wise but this has a different more ominous feel to it . . . . Hopefully, it will pick up soon.  Meanwhile, I have been utilizing the time helping my mother get organized and paired down.  She is a bit of a hoarder--a sentimentalist, heh, who saves things like newspaper clippings and notes and receipts and cards and anything related to her long lost dreams and goals and plans ... though, she has MS and fybromyalgia and various other physical ailments, complications . . . dwindling funds . . lives alone . . and needs help to get organized into a more realistic situation . . . and move into a more sustainable scenario.... So I've been going through her piles of stuff, tossing out and shredding and honing ....

In the midst of that, I came across a key-like thing, which looked old, tarnished, and had was engraved with initials I didn't recognize.  I said, "what's this?" . . . . "Aha!" she exclaimed, "we were just talking about that the other day--they asked if I'd lost it."  (she and her sisters) . . . .

Turns out it is Mitt Romney's father's toothpaste tube winder!  George Romney's!  I've mentioned before I once had a white cowboy hat of his (George's) with his name embossed inside, I use to wear when I was about 13 and 14 years old .. especially when I played gigs as the keyboardist in a mostly black/mixed-race funk band in Davis, California . . . . You see, we lived for a time in a house that George Romney once owned and some campaign posters and a few odds and ends they just left behind when we moved in.

I wish I still had that hat--it was a perfect fit and I dug it . . . . but alas . . . the toothpaste tube lives! ....lol ... .kinda funny and odd somehow . . . considering the current silly political season . . . .

Re . . . the race . . . I wouldn't be too surprised if Newt managed to pull it off . . . . Too many people are waking up to the threat of Barry and I know "they" are in a hurry to collapse things . . . so, it might be better for them to (as I've suggested before) bring in a "right winger" . . . to ignite chaos, tumult, riot etc., and thus have the pretext for heavy handed clamp down . . . . .  Mitt is too similar to the Liar in Chief--though he still could be a catalyst for mayhem . . . but Newt is the perfect foil, with all his loose cannon qualities and tendency to grandiosity and love of friction and conflict . . . .

I just think "they" would rather have the left going nuts against a "right winger" . . . rather than the "right", ie., "tea party" going against the Manchurian Barry . . . because, though there would be a few "patriot" types who might do some limited damage here and there . . . the left wing, with the Occupy troops in place . . . are much more apt on a larger scale to go berserk.  The so-called "right wing" . . . ie., "tea party" types . . . tend to be polite, orderly, respectful, older, peace-loving and wanting not a whole new system, but restoration of traditional principles and such . . . whereas the lefties are primed and ready for anarchy--to bring the whole thing down . . . . WHICH is what the globalists want also.  So, I wouldn't be surprised to see the Newtster win . . . but with controversy . . . not a clear victory . . . recounts and the like . . . a mess . . . then "forced through" . . . followed by riot ....

Though, I must admit, there seems to be a blanket over it all . . . this year and after . . . is unusually murky . . . hard to discern--I suspect a cloaking mechanism of some sort ..... on some "level" . . . .

At the same time, the stunning acquiescence to the interloper's blatantly Marxist propaganda and policies may lead the cabal to ramrod through another 4 years and rather undramatically tie up all the few remaining loose ends . . . . (This, btw, would be the creepiest and most disheartening trajectory of all, imho...) 

:) God blesses you one and all

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Stalinists Invade Oceanside Community

I haven't had this sort of dream since the last one I mentioned where the Chinese were sieging some city and the people were giving and taking classes on how to properly surrender . . . .

In this one, the people were also disappointing in their response but in a slightly different way, though just as ineffectual.

It happened near the coast--west coast--where I was visiting some small community with a friend.  The place was perched on a small cliff next to the ocean and rather steep and rugged hills ran up and away from the main community, though there were also enclaves there too, in the canyons.  Horse corrals and livestock were in abundance and this seemed to be an important part of their lifestyle and livelihood.

Anyway, word came that a motley crew of invaders had landed ashore, in soldier garb, just below the main ranch house where I was visiting.  Alarmed, I went to investigate and snuck out to a ledge where I could see the invaders gathering below. A Stalin-like character was leading them and I knew them to be Russians.  They were not an official looking bunch, except for the main character, but seemed  to be a hastily collected bunch made of ruffians and mercenaries.

I was able to watch and listen, hidden from view, as they consolidated their landing and made plans to strike the area.

I quietly left and got an acquaintance from the village folk to come see what I was seeing.  We snuck up again and watched for a time and then this fellow with me, as we were leaving, threw a rock down amongst the Russians.  I was very angry with him, telling him that this was foolish and now our presence would be known and we would no longer be able to use that spying location.

It was evening.  I Returned to the main house area and people were anxiously gathered and milling about, approximately 20-30 men and women.  I was eager to get them organized and began reporting what I had seen--the landed foreign force, its location and numbers--and started to find a few other leaders to whom I could assign tasks and objectives to prepare for the inland invasion of the homestead area.

I received some immediate positive response to my plans but then there was some conflict and it seemed no one was really taking the situation seriously.

"What is going on here?"  I asked one of the men who appeared to be of leadership caliber.  "Why is no one taking this seriously?  Do you not realize they are here, just below and will likely attack tonight or in the morning.  We must get prepared, set up sentries, defensive bulwarks--."

The man sort of nodded, "yeah, yeah" . . . but he was distracted and continued with the others just milling about, taking no action other than  breaking up into little sub-groups and talking nervously.

Exasperated at the lack of response and growing increasingly concerned about the situation I went to another person, the woman who owned this particular ranch and said, "We have got to put a meeting together, a council, quickly.  Let's meet now, the leaders here, to develop a plan of action."

There was some chagrin at this and some mild resentment at me trying to take a leadership role.  Then someone told me that they had already had a sort of meeting . . . and it became clear to me that these people were not going to coalesce into an organized unit, but remain in little cliques, each doing their own thing in response . . . and this, I knew, spelt doom, as the invaders focused and cohesive brigade would easily blow through the farm house community.

So, I decided to go lone wolf.  I looked up the canyon, into the hills and figured I would go there and try to hide, maybe find a cave or some other place to wait out the Russians, assuming they would eventually leave the area, moving inland.

I saw smoke up the trail--a camp fire and as I approached found myself among another small community, gathered in a large tented area, with horse corrals to the side.  My friend had decided to come with me as he also saw the people were not preparing well.

A man appeared when I came to the new hillside group and I asked if he knew what was happening below.  He said yes but added there wasn't much to be done about it.  Again I was disheartened and implored him to start organizing a resistance and he basically shrugged me off saying he and they were busy with a horse show of some kind.  I reiterated to him that I thought this was foolish to be so engaged and again he waved me off saying that it probably wouldn't be that bad and that he and his people there were ready to accept whatever resulted from the invading force.

So, I decided to get away from them and fast . . . to go further up into the hills and find a hideout.  I looked down the canyon and was alarmed to see that the invaders had not waited until nighttime or morning to assault but were making their strike now!  They had already overrun the ranch house community and were filing up the canyon towards us.  I bolted . . . and that was the end of it . . . .

Two major factors especially struck me as I thought about this dream upon waking.  One, was how nonchalant the people were and their insistence on each little group doing its own thing, and none of them too seriously.  The "Stalinists", focused and taking the initiative, easily cut through and subdued them.

And, from the invaders' perspective, it was good strategy to attack at once before any resistance COULD be organized, even if the people had done so . . . .

And too, I suppose the uphill folk being so distracted by their hobbies and personal interests (the horse show) that they were unable to perceive or care about the soon-to-be attack and takeover.

I think . . . a likely scenario . . . extrapolated . . . overall . . . .

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Everlasting Freedom In The Perfect Engineer

To the unbeliever . . . .

The day of slavery to works is over.  No more need you work and work and struggle to make yourself worthy to receive the God of Love.  For now, you toil . . . with offerings, spells, and rule following to connive your way into the Kingdom, to safety.  Ultimately, you seek safety from death, as this is your greatest fear, above all.  Striving constantly for righteousness and good works you seek to vie your way into heaven, ruled by fear of failure.  But this is not The Way.

God loves you and He wants you to be happy.  However, your happiness cannot be won outside of the reality of the Living God.  So, in order to exist . . . to obviate (make null) death you simply must be in line with the I AM THAT I AM.

Nothing can live outside of Him.

It thus pleases the Lord when you follow His directions so that He can save you from eternal death.

Now, you seek to craft your self and life into something worthy of His love, as though God will be impressed . . . by your social standing and air of importance, or by intelligence--theories and plans; or, by becoming an ascetic, showing self-discipline; or through spiritual exercises or attending church.

Or, perhaps you wish to allure God's grace through self flagellation--through denial of self and self-loathing, penance, hatred of life and shunning of enjoyment . . . .

Fundamentally, through one way or another, you work to win God's favor and grace, as though it depends on your own continual efforts to be acceptable in His eyes.

But this is impossible.

The world . . . and all in it . . . are fallen.  And there is no way a creature wrought of such, can, in that state, be pleasing to God.  For it goes completely against His nature.  He is Light, and the darkness of corruption cannot remain in His presence.
So, here is the Good News.

The Creator Himself came into His own creation to show The Way.  And He made it so simple, that even a child can do it, a means by which we can be saved from eternal death AND be restored whole and righteous to live in the Kingdom forever!

The question is:  whether to believe in this or not? 

The God of Love puts away all your superstitions; all your vain works and attempting to connive your way into Heaven.

Since He came and died and took on the responsibility for the world and all its fallen, now there is just to believe . . . or not . . . whether this is so.

In Believing that Jesus is the Son of God--God in the flesh, here to show The Way--all good things will follow.  Once you Believe in Him, it becomes perfectly natural to want to please Him; and then, your works are pleasing.

But WITHOUT Belief in Him, all your efforts are meaningless.  Every worthy thing you do . . . is for naught, as it is done without reference.

HE is not in it.

It must die.   Because He is the great I AM, and all attempts outside of Him are doomed to failure.

Thus, among the unbelieving an overriding fear of death lurks, which steals joy, and makes slaves who toil away at continual self-related works and efforts, "hoping for the best" as the only consolation.

However, God the Father so loves the world . . . that He made a Way whereby we can escape the sentence of death and all unnecessary strivings and confusion and worry.

God loves you and wants you to leave the world of superstition, of appeasing gods, of fear . . . and He is so generous and merciful that He sent a Saviour into the world, to draw all those unto Him who Believe on His Holy Name, in unity, ONE with the Spirit and Love of God, beginning NOW--TODAY; and going on into all eternity.

Come into the grace of the Lord.  When you do, there is no more past and no more future.  No longer need you fret about the past, what you have done, not done . . . and neither will you pine for the future, worrying about things to come, or yearning as to how they should be.  But, TODAY is the day of the Lord.  You live in the eternal present, where I AM has His being.  And it is here . . . where you can talk to the Lord and receive instruction, and simply live the day devoted to His cause and being.

Here is a freedom, unlike any other, for this freedom is holy, pure . . . .

This is not license to flaunt God's commandments and do what thou wilt.  As that kind of freedom is devoid of sacredness--cannot stand, because it is detached from God and God's pleasure and is against His will.

Meanwhile, there is a freedom which is found in simply Believing in the Lord and handing your life over to Him--the past, the future.  You no longer feel the shackles of adherence to self improvement . . . or suffer the vain, constantly frustrated, hopes of working your way to God. 

As a result of sincerely and earnestly Believing in Him, it follows like day comes after night . . . that you, by focusing on Him, will cheerfully want to please Him.  Not out of fear or worry over self, but by sheer love and gratitude at His most merciful gift--the opportunity of life eternal!  Believing in Him you realize that He is Love and only wants THE BEST for your soul, your being, all in all.   In simply, but profoundly, LOVING HIM, and then, in loving others, is found the one and holy secret to assuring that this life is wholly and completely successful!  For there is no other purpose, at this time, on this one holy day, but to seek oneness with God and to become one in Spirit and purpose.  From here, all will be blessed that you do.  He is the Master and Perfect Engineer Who is able to make ALL THINGS work together for GOOD, for those who love God.

This is the first commandment, by which ALL is ordered to perfection.

Come out of the darkness and in to the Light.  Come into the rest--into the comfort and guidance and supreme advocacy of the Lord of Light--He Who created it.

You can be free from the rule of others in the spirit; free from slavishness to works and routine; protected from and freed from all the realm of the dark entities who delight in misfortune, pain and destruction.

Once you are His, then all providence is bent on your behalf. The King will not allow that a single ONE of His children, seeking His Face shall be lost to the horde of darkness.  And by loving Him and Believing in Him, His Light begins to fill your space, so that, eventually NO creature or tendency of the shadows, of darkness and sin, can remain.

Trusting in Him--by having faith--it is as good as done, your final birth into a new creature.  For He has promised it, and though you may yet be subject to the vicissitudes of existence in a fallen and corrupt world, nonetheless, in His due and holy time, He has ordered it that you will attain perfection, to be as ONE with the Triune Deity . . . one in Spirit, one with the Lord, Jesus Christ, and one with the Father of all.

Now, your life is to be lived with profound gratitude and thanksgiving, joy and lightheartedness, where even suffering is made sweet, knowing that EVERYTHING is working to the good, once you love God.

Come into the peace,
Come into the rest
Into true and everlasting freedom. . . .


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Ancient Treaures Abound

This is pic of the jaw of a "red haired giant" compared to a normal modern adult's.  This relic is in the Winnemucca Nevada museum.  Many have heard about this extraordinary find of the "red haired giant" skeletons found in a cave nearby in Lovelock Nevada.  The Paiute Indians told early pioneer immigrants their stories of once fighting the "white red haired giants" who were already living in the area when the Indians arrived.  This is the story that many have heard about the Indians cornering the giants in a cave killing them by lighting a fire at the entrance and smoking them to death and shooting with arrows any who tried to escape.  According to the Paiutes the giants were up to 12 feet tall!

In 1911 a fertilizer company "mined" the cave for it's lucrative and abundant bat guano.  It was then that they found the mummified skeletons of two of the giants, one, a woman 6 and a half feet tall--the man over 8 feet tall!  There were also lots of arrows and other artifacts found corroborating the Indians' tale.

I just love this story and it is somewhat related to the book I am writing.

The history of this North American continent is so much more fascinating and wondrous than what the establishment allows to be dribbled out . . . it is such a shame.  Can you imagine the interest that could be fired in children if they were taught proper history compared to the relatively dry, dull, evolutionary dirge they use currently . . . to smother a youth's eager, native intelligence and curiosity?

Anyway, I am more focused on the ancients in my more immediate location, here in Utah . . . and, like everywhere it seems, we have a slew of intriguing reports and finds in the back country, tending to corroborate that . . . many different races and cultures have traipsed about this land, interacting with each other . . . possessing technologies and arts and sciences at times highly "advanced".  But, because this does not fit into the (mythical) evolutionary propaganda of the day, which wants to portray man as an ape who, slowly . . . incrementally . . . "developed" . . . "evolved" . . . on an "upward" trajectory toward "civilization" . . . well . . . these fantastic discoveries must be hidden, re-buried, destroyed . . . .

Of course we have to be careful of hoaxes, and there are plenty, but the abundance of artifacts witnessed and genuinely tested . . . overall . . . show quite clearly that ancient humans of all races traveled and traded extensively throughout the world . . . and here in North America.

Here is a sword found by a Ute Indian in a mound in Eastern Utah . . . .

And many ancient metal plates with writing have been found buried in mounds and caves throughout this region . . . such as these . . . .

Giant mummies, copper crowns and armor have also been unearthed here . . . and in various places across the continent.

Combined with the trustworthy and continually verified ancient records and reports found in the bible . . . we have an incredibly exciting story of humanity unfolding . . . which, as it is revealed, results finally . . . in glory to God . . . . The diversity . . . the heroes and heroines . . . the art and ingenuity . . . courage . . . resilience . . . found in this creature, created in His image . . . I find most fascinating!



Friday, January 20, 2012

Ere The Pernicious Creepers . . . .

More on the novice vs. veteran.  And by "veteran" I don't mean an expert or even someone necessary advanced.  I simply refer to a person who has been in the walk for a little while versus the babe to whom the experience is new.

You learn a few things over time.  Similar sign posts and challenges and tendencies happen to most nearly every one.

One of the immediate mistakes is to develop a subtle spiritual pride, usually attached to growing legalism.  Followed by a tendency to become overly critical and judgmental of others.  Once having "seen the Light" . . . and the world and it's corruption become ever more clear, it is easy to fall into a subtle feeling of superiority over those who remain in ignorance.  And to be overtly critical of, and to, them.  But alas, nothing turns people away faster from the Gospel than some preachy know-it-all, condemning and criticizing, blasting away, insensitive to the other's levels and limits of understanding.

A fairly quick cure to this typical mistake is to remember how it wasn't so long ago when you too were ignorant and misguided.  One can also recall the--though sometimes unintended--hurt and trouble we ourselves caused others when . . . we were in the clutches of our own self delusions.

So, now when we come across someone who is clueless and wreaking havoc, because they are so lost and unknowingly confused, we have humility and extended tolerance and compassion, knowing that we too have been in such a condition, and there, but for the grace and mercy of God, we would still be.

Legalism . . . and spiritual pride usually slip in . . . when, we start to become changed ourselves by the Lord--our habits, our inclinations, our weaknesses, faults etc., start to be corrected . . . . Some sins and flaws actually start slipping away--bothering us no longer like they did before, because He is transforming us, usually slowly, but surely . . . step by step . . . . And we find that we are becoming a different person--a changed creature.  Then, there is a temptation to look at others' bad habits and flaws and believe that it is because we are following certain rules and self disciplines . . . that we are growing, changing spiritually.  Some then want to start enforcing these rule and laws and demands on others, making them feel guilty if they don't . . . forgetting it is only the God's grace and the Lord's salvific mission which is saving us . . . and then, too, a subtle, hidden feeling of superiority over others sneaks in--and it is exceptionally devious and sneaky, this one . . . .

It is very easy to go through complete days subconsciously feeling better than others, superior, purer, more righteous.

Which is not to say that we may not actually BE . . . in some ways.  Temporarily, however.  For all fall short, and we are equally of the same need of a saviour . . . . And although we may be further along than another in spiritual growth  . . . for a moment . . . YET, because of sneaky, creeping spiritual pride we may actually soon, if not quite suddenly, be FURTHER AWAY, for God hates pride--the cause of the fall and corruption of creation! . . . . . . Too, there is always the possibility and likelihood that we will back slide or make grievous errors yet again . . . regardless of a momentary elevation and level of "progress" . . . .  .

So, we must be constantly on guard, as spiritual blessings and gifts may accrue . . . to watch and sever the sneaking pride which usually comes riding in, hidden on the underbelly, clinging . . . small . . . to dash into the temple and find a nook in the shadows . . . there to wait and spread perniciously within . . . .

Our status . . . others status . . . must be left alone and hands off by us, letting the Judge do what He will, when He will . . . and until then, like He, we want to rain and shine on the "just and the unjust" regardless, knowing HE will sort it all out in "the end."

I strongly suspect . . . that we are never in any danger . . . if it is sincere . . . being TOO humble and humiliated as to the power and status of our selves in the spiritual walk. 

The veteran eventually learns to watch for these novice errors . . . of temptation to spiritual pride and legalism.  And, this watchfulness . . . is a constant need, throughout the mortal life, for the pernicious creepers . . . who seek to inveigle . . . and slip into the temple . . . are ceaseless in THEIR efforts, especially as they consider those growing stronger and fiercer in the Word . . . the highest and most coveted of targets and prizes, if they can slip in and destroy . . . .

Prayers and love, for you, round about, top to bottom, side to side, through and through, day in, day out . . .

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A Lull, With A Probability Of Rain

. . . state of the spiritual weather is . . . a lull, overcast, with a probability of rain . . . . Indeed, so it goes, the ebbs and flows within . . . .

The novice becomes alarmed when, after a flurry of spiritual activity within, it seems to cease and recede.  Where did it go?  Hast thou forsaken me?  And here is where they generally get into new troubles, lacking patience and faith to wait, but instead searching about for a new "pop" . . . a fresh "sizzle" . . . .

But the experienced veteran knows to rest and wait, holding the ground gained, posting sentries and staying nevertheless alert, for the enemy will at such times attack, usually at night, in cover of darkness, to retake the ground won and push the other back . . . .

As we are a biological entity, living in a material world, operating in a certain space and time . . . our spiritual person mirrors in many respects our physical person--similar attributes apply to both the merely physical/biological part of us AND and the soul within (the physical machine).

The body gets hungry and thirsty . . . and so must consume food, which contains energy, which keeps the body going.

The soul (or, spiritual part of us) also requires sustenance . . . energy . . . or it also withers and ceases to operate.

When the body is hungry and thirsty, it takes a meal, and sometimes a large meal . . . and then . . . there is a lull time . . . where that intake must all be digested.  The hunger recedes (now sated) and a time period follows where the body utilizes the energy consumed and distributes it throughout the body as needed.  During this "digestion" process . . . the person does not become alarmed and worry that hunger is gone as if it were never to return.  No, instead the person knows that . . . in a while . . . again will come hunger and the need to search out more sustenance.

However, because we live in a mostly and deliberately secular/Godless society . . . people are not aware of their SPIRITUAL needs.  There is also a spiritual hunger . . . which craves to be satisfied, or it too will wither and die. 

Without discernment and without the knowledge of the Word, what happens is that people take in things like art, entertainment, philosophy, political objectives, relationships, and a million other substitutes . . . to satisfy the spiritual hunger within.  It does not satisfy for long, though, because it is not REAL spiritual food.  It is like "junk food" . . . and a steady diet of it eventually warps, and brings disease to, the personality and results in a sort of obesity of the soul, which becomes stuffed and full of all kinds of garbage and increasingly incapable of normal functioning.

Jesus . . . is the bread and water of life.  He is THE spiritual food . . . which does not warp and corrupt and pervert and disease.

But like physical consumption . . . sometimes . . . we will go through a period of feasting . . . on Holy Spirit, learning, seeing, hearing, understanding new richness of truth . . . . And then comes a digesting period.  the veteran in such matters learns to allow the (super)natural ebbs and flows to come and go . . . as He brings it . . . . and, does not become despondent or impulsive . . . during the lulls.  You have taken in a lot of new (spiritual) food . . . and so, there is a following period where this is sent to the hidden parts of the deep internal being, such that the "soul" continues to grow and become strong, just like the physical body does.

Sometimes, the lulls can last for days . . . weeks . . . months . . . and yes, even years. 

Yet, having just once . . . seen the truth . . . that HE IS . . . and that He is the Way . . . the spiritual pilgrim is capable of walking the desert (the lull) for ANY stretch of time, knowing . . . that eventually, He brings an end to it . . . and at last . . . there will be a COMPLETE transformation.

And . . . interestingly . . . it seems to me . . . that the ministrations of the Holy Spirit to the Body of believers . . . here on the current planet . . . is somewhat like the weather.  And there is a terrain of spirit . . . and "locales".  For instance, though we live in different (physical) geographical regions, we share a similar "space" in the "geography" of the Spirit.  So, we tend to have similar concerns, questions, and even experiences . . . this little "group" . . . as there are other congregations sharing different "localized" "spiritual weather". 

It seems there is an overall, universal "weather" of the Spirit going on, affecting the whole world . . . AND there are "localized" "weather" patterns which affect certain fellowships.  As in, one "congregation" . . . may be right now having a warm "sunny" day . . . while another is in the middle of storm.  And I think the angelic realm is quite involved with such distinctions, as it is directed by the will of God.

Anyway, it appears to me . . . that we have recently gone through a time of intake . . . of feasting . . . or, you could say, it has been raining (soul life sustaining spiritual bread and water pouring down) . . . and now is a time to mull it over . . . a lull . . . while digestion and distribution of the (Holy) Spiritual food commences . . . and that . . . the spiritual part of the person will be stronger, healthier, and further "grown" . . . .

And then, a new outpouring will come and the process repeated.  So, it is important to stay relaxed, though alert and watchful . . . though allowing the lull to do its thing . . . deep within . . . a work that is (super)natural, which WE don't have to force or contrive or manipulate, but which the Shepard guides and controls and effects . . . having faith that, overall, HE will continue to take us . . . right to where we are intended to be.

your brother in the clouds, thomas :)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Nothing Greater in This World

The struggle between the flesh and the spirit often goes on for a while.  Do not be discouraged, but instead maintain a sense of humor.   A kind of divine humor natural to the sensitive soul develops along the way.  It is close to awe in the sentiments.  You look at the fact of life and the magnitude and variety and difficulties in this creation and simply must crack a smile.

Yes, take heart and forge onward.  The evil one would have you feel ground into the dust, hopeless, dispirited, depressed by the challenge.  And while much of the time, we are just continuing to fail in the battle for supremacy of spirit over flesh, no matter what, we can always say, "no, I do not choose you, whatever my weakness produces; I want the Lord; I have asked Him to change me and I know that one day He will."

The bottom line, it is up to Him when and how he transforms you.  We want to keep stepping in, trying to hurry the process, but this shows lack of faith.  However long it takes, if we are submitted in the first place, should not matter.  It is up to Him and He has His reasons for each individual how it will go.

So, when we fail, all there is to do is to thank Him for ever more opportunity to become broken, humbled.  A great revelatory experience may or may not happen early on in the walk.  If it does not, it makes no difference; your continued intent is the same regardless of any mystical experiences, OR lack thereof.

How do you know you are even in "the Walk"?  Because you care.  The fact that you sometimes fret and worry, try and fail, but keep returning to the subject . . . is evidence that you are indeed on the Path.  You may be in the brambles for a while . . . . You perhaps have been walking the dry desert for days and days . . . the long, lonely night of the soul . . . and it seems there is little change, but what you should know is that monumental, radical change has already happened--you just can't see it from the valley you presently trudge.

Up ahead, if you only keep walking, the road and the surroundings have been completely altered from what they were to be if you had NOT taken up the Way.  If you but keep putting one foot after the other, pressing on, though still in darkness, eventually you WILL be brought to a paradisaical world--including and beyond ALL of your most cherished inclinations towards being a whole, joyous, perfected, pure being of eternal life.

The human--YOU, are a special and honored creature, designed to experience the abjectness of separation from God . . . designed to go through a world and time of severe trials, exposed to pure evil . . . and then, choosing to love God and returning to His Heavenly abode, a perfect and sinless, divine creation.

You are designed to go through hell on earth . . . walk and walk the lonely trail, lost and confused, weak and stumbling . . . yet intended to, and capable of, choosing to turn over your life to Another, God Himself, Who then will (sometimes slowly but) surely transform you into a living, spiritual being . . . acceptable to be an inheritor of the Kingdom of Heaven.

God would not have placed this desire in your heart--to SEE Him, to BE like Him, to LIVE with Him--if it were not possible for you to achieve it.

And, He knows that you can do nothing by yourself . . . to get there.  So, you just never-mind how long, and in what ways, He effectively brings you.  And do not let the meddler--the evil one--beset you with doubts and frustrations over the pace and the missteps.  As in, don't even bother too much that you may get frustrated with being frustrated!  It is perfectly natural and part of the design . . . to go through a period of this kind of seemingly endless struggle.  It is actually a sign and a confirmation of being on the right Path.  To defeat the Accuser, simply thank God and ask Him for more if that be His will.

Another trick not to fall for . . . . Do not revel in a certain feeling of regret that you are NOT doing big and important things in this world.  The meddler is constantly attempting to make you think you must do something special--"make a mark"--in the world.  But there is nothing more normal and unexceptional than a person trying to leave "their mark" in the world.  Almost everybody falls for this one.

What IS actually special and profound . . . is to die to self and patiently allow the Lord to finally transform us, bit by bit, if it should be . . . slowly . . . but surely . . . overall.

All of the megaliths and monoliths and monuments and skyscrapers and towers and intricate systems and genius products are nothing but dirty, old rubble . . . paltry pebbles, compared . . . to the gargantuan act . . . and simple, sincere intention . . . to give up one's life to the purpose of God.  Nothing is greater in this world, and it is what we were designed for, and so, can do it . . . and WILL do it . . . because it is His will that it be done.

Friday, January 13, 2012

For or Against?

If God can be found through any number of ways--through different practices and/or religions, then what need is there for Jesus?  If the seeker can find God in their own way, then the life and death of Jesus was incidental, unnecessary.

A seeker must at some point either accept or reject His claims, if they are serious about the truth.  If they care not so much about truth, then the challenge can be ignored.  But anyone considering their self a believer in God or seeker thereof must eventually come to a decision about the mission of Christ.

Ignoring or procrastinating the matter . . . is itself a decision.  For His claims are too bold, too emphatic to be shrugged off.   He said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."

So, is this true . . . ?  Or was He a madman and a liar?  It's got to be one or the other.  And if someone purports to be interested in truth and the meaning and purpose of life and in seeking and finding God, then they must eventually wrestle with this challenge.  If they put it off, continuing to say, "I don't know for sure . . . so I will avoid the question and just meander through whatever other "paths" seem plausible or interesting," then that person is essentially making a decision by omission, by neglect.

This is why there is such animosity towards Jesus and the bible in the world.  A challenge has been made--a call has been put forth.  Having heard it, now the hearer must decide.  Avoidance of decision thereafter is basically a decision of rejection.  "No, I do not accept that you are the Son of God, I shall look elsewhere."

Now, their conscience nags.  Now, by rejecting His claims, they cannot sit still, but will turn harder and deeper into delusions and false teachings.  For, if they are not going to believe Him, then they will turn away from Him altogether and go the other way.

What a terrifying place to be!  To be running . . . from the Lord, from Truth, from God . . . into the arms of multitudinous other spirits and "ways" . . . .

So, if you are not FOR Him . . . you are AGAINST Him.  There is only a gray area for a time, during investigation.  But eventually, this must end, for His call is an urgent one.  "Turn now from your evil ways," He says, "repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand."

So, dilly-dallying endlessly . . . is really just rejection.  The Lord has come to you and you have pondered, and then, through inaction and non-assent, you are saying, "No, I reject you.  I don't believe you.  You are either madman or liar."

Do not tarry overlong.  Be brave and up front at least, and make a bold declaration.  Either, heed the call, repent, and take the leap of faith . . . or, show some integrity, some courage and say, "no, I reject you--I do not believe."

And do not think by accepting "gnostic" and "alternative" interpretations . . . that you can have it both ways.  That you can still say you "believe" in Jesus, but that you have a different interpretation . . . you have found some "secret" books--some "hidden" texts supposedly "suppressed" by the church.  This is nothing more than further prevarication, avoidance and sneaking around--trying to have your cake and eat it too.  "Hmm, maybe there is a way to sort of believe in Jesus . . .  but still keep all my own personal beliefs and worldly inclinations."

While there are various relatively minor doctrinal differences between the religious sects that have developed over the years, make no mistake, there has always been a consistent, core and traditional understanding of the message of the Gospels as generally understood and accepted.  Trying to find esoteric supports for personal, sinful predilections . . . is nothing more than . . . still avoiding the challenge--still avoiding being FOR HIM.

And do not get hung up on the messenger(s).  He works through people--fallen, flawed, incomplete believers, He nevertheless uses . . . and it is a trick of the Adversary to have you get hung up on the human messenger so that you cannot see past them to the TRUTH of which they are bringing.

God bless and protect and uplift you,
I pray,

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


It is disheartening enough to hear news clips of the Marxist demagogue promoting the end of American free enterprise, traditional values, FREEDOM . . . but it is outright sickening and pitiful to hear the crowds cheering and applauding.  I have spoken many times over the years with emigres who managed to escape the Soviet Union and they all can see clearly where we are headed, having been through it themselves--the creeping surveillance/snitch state, "if you see something say something" . . . .

Below is a typical example of one of these former state slaves from the Soviet gulag society, posted on their facebook page warning foolish Americans about what we are getting ourselves (cheering and applauding) into . . . . .They are a Ron Paul supporter and maybe don't realize that there is no way ANY leader will be allowed to stop and reverse the train . . . but, their warning is relevant nonetheless . . . . Perhaps you have already seen it . . . . .

[But first, a quick style note.  The difficulty in the written word, especially in the conversational, brief style of blogging . . . like email and text . . . is that inflection and body language and facial expression are not there.   So it is easy to be misunderstood in certain ways.  Especially, the message can come off more terse and harsh than is meant.  I know this happens in my writing from time to time.  For instance, I wrote, "the fretting and stewing and despair and seeming inability to let the Cleaner take over is just the bratty, little childish self yet trying to hang on to itself."  That appears more harsh than the actual sentiment I intended it with.  If you saw my face, heard my voice, I would have been saying this in a more pleading, caring and slightly humorous tone--it would not have come off mean or demeaning.  The other day I responded that what someone said was either "lying or foolish ignorance."  Again, had we been in a discussion, face to face, this would have not have sounded like invective or accusatory, but more like a slightly exasperated but caring and concerned effort at trying to delineate an objective fact.  The "foolish ignorance" meaning . . . simply meaning that to only cherry pick the bible to find warm, gentle pleasantries . . . is foolish and dangerous where it ignores the intentionally scary and urgent parts . . . .
Anyway, I'm aware that sometimes the written word, minus the voice inflection and body language can leave it coming off more dismissive and harsh than is actually where I'm coming from.  Eh, . . . maybe doesn't need to be said, though occasionally I fret a little over it, being mistaken that way . . . . I mean no harm, but in a sense this is ongoing surgery . . . and the blood can be misconstrued . . . .

Oh boy, lol, that metaphor probably didn't help, heh . . . . :)]

"You see, my family emigrated to the United States from the Soviet Republic of Lithuania (before the Soviet Union fell). Living in this country has been the greatest gift I could ever ask for, because life in the USSR was in most cases “normal” as you would expect here, only sprinkled with examples like this from my own family and friends:
One day you're there, the next you're on a train to Siberia to cut lumber because you earned a degree in political science 30 years ago. One day you cut off your own hand with an axe so you can't be accused of being a resistance sniper, just because the local political officer heard a joke about you and how well you shot rabbits. One year your country's population of 3M drops by 200,000 and you personally know at least a dozen of them. HINT: they did not emigrate and you'll never see them again. If you talk about those who vanish, then you vanish yourself. This is the most difficult because it's not only the loss of the friend or loved one, but you can't even talk about them anymore.. it's like they get erased from society but your heart aches to burst out and tell everyone they existed.

I invite any of you to sit down with my family and hear the stories. I welcome you to watch as uncontrollable fits of sobbing and crying take hold, as our lives without liberty are remembered and relived. I want you to witness the sunken demeanor and lifeless eyes, in what are normally jovial and happy people, last for hours and days after recounting the tales. Have you ever seen the look of despair in someone's eyes? If not, you would that evening and it is something that haunts you.

When my family and I discuss developments like the Patriot Act, the Indefinite Detention rules, Guantanamo, the jumps to war for false purposes, SOPA… there’s a glimmer in our eyes noticeably lost because these are precisely the slow, gradual actions which lead to a state of oppression from where we escaped. These transformations do not happen overnight, folks. They happen gradually and to the sounds of applause. We are much further down the road to the unthinkable than you might imagine and there is no evidence of slowing. Only Ron Paul has been speaking up against our march towards either a socialistic, left-leaning Stalin or a nationalistic, right-leaning Hitler. Only Ron Paul has resisted the populist, easy-road legislation to grant more power to the federal government and erode our rights for what sometimes look like the best intentions.

In the end, it MAKES MY HEART WEEP that my family and I were lucky enough to get political asylum, risk our lives and successfully escape to the US, and are now watching people willingly bring down the walls of our freedoms down on our own heads, and some are even cheering and clapping as it happens.

I hope this helps explain, at least, my own support for Ron Paul."

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Ditching The Foreign Coating

The following is NOT necessarily a specific case scenario . . . . More like . . . a possible suggestion . . . a "what if ....."
If you still think you can do something--still have a bit of pride in yourself . . . then, when the Lord strips you down . . . you become devastated.  You feel incredible shame--horror even at what you truly are.  Because of pride and still clinging to a vain conception of self, a childish response ensues.  You "take your toys and go home."  Not Home, but home . . . . The "home" you go to is back to a walled up, dark corner of your self where you pull the curtains, shut the doors, put a blanket over your head, clutch your toys and refuse to come out.   The pride of self is so hurt that, when the Light is put on your sins, rather than stay in It and let It irradiate all the decay of self, you hurry and run away and shut the door to the Light.  It's too much.

But this reaction comes from an over attachment to that self and identification with the sins.  YOU feel responsible for what you are--the whole lot of it (imagining yourself greater than you actually are) and you take the "dressing down" personally.  This is because there is yet a prideful, wishful thinker lurking who does NOT want to die to self .... not yet, anyway . . . but has a good conscience, and cannot stand the cognitive/spiritual dissonance of being in such a state.  You have now seen too much--you have have been shown what a worthless bum you really are, yet, a part of you doesn't want to be a worthless bum--fancies your self a bit of a comer having something to offer . . . but now that is all ruined . . . . You can't go back to ignorance of the situation.  It's too late, you've seen it.  However, you are not quite willing yet to give up on your self.  Hence the shame, the hurt, the horror.   WHO feels this shame?  WHO is horrified?  The prideful ego who secretly had thought better of itself.

But this is all just still too much attachment and love of self.  Self hatred is just another form of self love.  Infatuation of self . . . with self . . . .

God knows . . . and is thus merciful . . . that our wretched, worthless bum status is really not a lot of our personal fault.  We are suffering the compounded sins of generations, embedded in the DNA, slopped on by the culture . . . born as innocents into a world that is ruled by devils, corrupt at every turn.  It's little wonder that we are each an individual mess!

It's like this.  There is a swimming pool.  Full of mud and gunk and filth.  The pool is this world, this life.  We, as an innocent child, clean, are atop the slide which goes into the pool.  Down the slide we go (get born) and splash! into the muddy cess-pit.  WE didn't fill up that rotten pool!  That is not all OUR garbage and muck!  Nevertheless, we splash and get submerged into it for a time, covered in filth.

All that is happening with the great dressing down, is that the Lifeguard . . . reaches in, pulls you out and stands you in front of a mirror.  Yuck! ... You are covered with crap!  Don't take it so personally, as if YOU are responsible for all that mire.  Now, some people love to wallow, and they increase the filth by their willingness to stay in it and ingest it and decorate it, staying in the pool.  But, once the Lifeguard pulls you out, shows you how dirty you are, you . . . are naturally embarrassed for a time--but mostly, you just want to get cleaned off!  You are grateful to see the situation as it is.  But you don't sit there and wallow in it still, collapsing in on yourself in shame, pounding the pavement, crying out, "I'm so dirty, I'm so dirty . . . woe is me . . . I'm terrible . . . look at me . . . I'm worthless."

No.  You just look objectively at the situation.  You fell into a pool of muck and now the Lifeguard wants to show you that fact . . . and then get on with the business of cleaning you up and keeping you out of the pool.  It shouldn't become another opportunity for self to keep obsessing on self, through the disguise of self pity and self hatred . . . because this is all just more hidden muck that you are insisting on carrying OUT of the pool.

Now, you are worthless bum only so far as you are still attached to and identifying with the muck.  THE MUCK IS NOT YOU. Stop it.  Stop clinging to it.  There is a perfect, clean child there which is what God sees and loves and will restore.  THIS part of you--the REAL you . . . is of divine, eternal, glorious worth!

The devil says, no, there is no part of you that is clean, pure--the whole package is worthless.  He says give up, get back in the pool and splash around while you can.  He will give you some rubber duckies, a kick board, a couple of Disney arm swimmies and say "just forget it, you'll never get clean . . . you might as well wallow and learn a few tricks . . . . "

When the Lord shows you yourself naked--all your sin, the muck--you realize that you have no hope of getting clean, getting out of it, except by Him.  So, you throw up your hands, give up completely and hand it all over, saying, "do with me what You will."  The ego not willing to be submitted "just yet" . . . still wants to negotiate a bit more; still believes it can do some things and has some hidden, secret wishes and dreams for itself that it is not willing to abandon . . . "not just yet" . . . .  It isn't quite ready to die--to be utterly subsumed into Another's will--into God's will.  Sometimes, it (this clinging ego/self) will hold on to self loathing as a last ditch effort to persist, at least in some fashion.  A tiny pinch of pride can survive and even thrive with new life, disguised in a mode of self mortification, self-loathing, discouragement, grief, ruminating on it's own worthlessness.  Here is a project that can carry on for a while!--the shamed child/ego sitting in a dark corner, covers drawn, wallowing in despair, determined to NOT get back in the pool . . . AND unwilling to get back up on deck, naked . . . to be cleaned by the purifying Light of Truth.  It figures "well, at least I'm not in the pool . . . but I'll be killed if I go back in that Light . . . so, at least here I can persist a little while longer, miserable as it is . . . . "

The key is . . . in realizing WE ARE NOT THE MUCK.  It is a foreign coating, NOT to be clung to or identified with.  WITHIN this foul covering is . . . a creation of divine intent and beauty and glory . . . incredibly MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD~!  When you are dirty and try to clean YOURSELF off, you just keep spreading the dirt around.  So, you give up and let the Lifeguard do it and stop making a big deal out of it.  The fretting and stewing and despair and seeming inability to let the Cleaner take over is just the bratty, little childish self yet trying to hang on to itself, in whatever miserable form still possible . . . .

Monday, January 9, 2012

Prospectors In The Garden

At work . . . or when socializing . . . or between family members . . . or strangers that we meet . . . . Are they seeing someone . . . in YOU . . . who models the Spirit of Jesus?  If there is complaining, worrying, doubting, criticizing . . . the other wonders, "hmm, this 'Jesus' thing must not be that great.  Look at the person.  They are negative, critical, fretful, complaining . . . . Whereas, here is this other smiling, positive, new agey lady teaching yoga or reads tarot cards who seems to love everyone and is genuinely interested in me . . . . "

Oh, it happens.  The prospect looks at the Christian and finds no special attributes, no love--some person who is dour, scowling, looking down on others, worrying about this and that, trying to "fix" others with spiritless negative critiques . . . . And the prospect wonders, what is so great about following Jesus?  These are the fruits?

Here is a powerful and fast tool to use attending to the spiritual garden.  The example we manifest to others which will either repel or attract them to the teachings of the Master.  If we find ourselves wanting as a good example . . . then we know that somewhere we are missing the mark within.  Something is wrong.  A faithLESSness is there.  Perhaps we ourselves do not really trust God and continue to try to fix things, fix others and doubting subconsciously whether God truly has our back.  There is some hidden doubt there and it manifests in various negative ways, which others can see clearly in us though we ourselves are blind to it.

So, sometimes, it is a helpful practice to step outside and look upon our self--to see what sort of example is there--what we are habitually manifesting.

Steadily, on the Path . . . one day, we find our spiritual garden beginning to blossom, sending out sweet fragrances, bright alluring colors, fascinating beautiful detail of flower and leaf and vine--all alive, growing, increasingly abundant . . . a place to which prospectors are attracted and want to linger, to learn more, to enjoy the Son's warm, life giving, inspiring bounty.

Sunday, January 8, 2012


Oddly, I can't remember if I have written about this yet or not--as I've been meaning to for a while.... Oh well, maybe if I have, it bears repeating ......

This business of the shaving of the body . . . currently fashionable among young men especially, the arms, legs . . . . the "metro-sexual" thing . . . .

And, the noticeable trend among law enforcement types to have the shaved head augmenting the overly aggressive attitude eager for a beat-down . . . .

Is linked to the conformist pressure upon the businessman, church-goer, politician . . . to have the proper haircut--"clean cut" look . . . .

I recall always as a young boy dreading the time for a hair cut and use to argue that it would "take my power" away . . . . I would site Sampson to my mother, to no avail.
And even now, and for years, I have always tended to feel best when my hair is long; though occasionally, feeling the urge to cut it back, in a kind of "spring cleaning" sense . . . but then, allowing it to come back, long and fairly wild over time.  I never was attracted to the suit and tie and tidy hair and face look of church people, but rather appreciated the long hair and beards of monks and ascetics as just seeming more appropriate to a holy man.  Like Jesus had, for instance . . . .

I came across an interesting story a while back which relates to this area of concern.

During the Viet Nam war, the American special forces department sent out undercover agents to investigate Native American reservations to find especially talented scouts knowing the seeming superhuman abilities of the Indians to track and spy and survive in the wilderness in hostile conditions--their "sixth sense", extra-sensory skills in locating and/or avoiding enemies.

Various candidates were indeed found and enlisted in special scouting units.  But a funny thing happened.  Once out in the combat field, these scouts apparently lost all their special abilities.  They no longer had the unusual skills, intuition and "sixth sense" and serious calamities and even fatalities ensued.  So the army did a study on the situation and performed tests to find out what had happened.

It turns out that the army hair-cut had taken away the Indians' abilities.  Some recruits were allowed to keep their traditional long hair, while others got the shave, and in every case, those with hair out-performed the others in all respects related to almost supernatural sensitivity.


"Hair is an extension of the nervous system, it can be correctly seen as exteriorized nerves, a type of highly evolved 'feelers' or 'antennae' that transmit vast amounts of important information to the brain stem, the limbic system, and the neocortex.

Not only does hair in people, including facial hair in men, provide an information highway reaching the brain, hair also emits energy, the electromagnetic energy emitted by the brain into the outer environment. This has been seen in Kirlian photography when a person is photographed with long hair and then rephotographed after the hair is cut.

When hair is cut, receiving and sending transmissions to and from the environment are greatly hampered. This results in numbing-out .

Cutting of hair is a contributing factor to unawareness of environmental distress in local ecosystems. It is also a contributing factor to insensitivity in relationships of all kinds."



Native Americans have traditionally considered that their hair was sacred and was an important connecting link to The Great Spirit.

The Nazarites, of course believed that, upon commandment from God that the razor was never to touch their heads, or they would become weak--hair being a sign of the goodness of God and representing (and perhaps helping?) maintain spiritual power.

I have a few friends who are Sikhs and they are very fine people--devout, honorable and admirably earnest in their dedication to their spiritual practice and belief.  They wear turbans to contain their uncut hair and wear long beards, usually braided up for practicality, believing that the cutting of hair is a sign of conformity to the world.  And that allowing their hair to grow, despite cultural pressures and norms is a sign of submission to the will of God.  In terms of basic bodily health, they consider that hair helps to synthesize necessary vitamin D from the sun and provides the pituitary gland with phosphorous.  I suspect, like them, that our brains are designed with certain chemicals and subtle electromagnetic properties which help the transmission of information from the Spirit to our physical station--for the Christian, from Holy Spirit.

The passage in Corinthians 11:14 "Doth not even nature itself teach you that if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"

. . . . is the only place in the bible that would imply that cut hair is preferable, while there are many verses which condone and even command the growing of hair . . . . [ie., Num. 6:5-7; Kings 1:8; Judges 16:17; Sam. 14:25-26; Lev. 19:27]

But it is understood, when analyzing the *Greek translation of the Corinthian passage that what was being condemned was not long hair per se, but the feminized styling of men's hair that was popular among the Pagans.  Indeed, the Pagans were noted for cutting their hair short and/or styling in certain fashions.  

I am not asserting any sort of legalistic demand regarding the growing out of the hair, but find the matter interesting and from personal experience confirming of some things.

My wife and I use to joke that it seemed that when our boys got a hair cut--ie., a "buzz cut" . . . they were a little meaner, lol.  The image of a bully is usually one of some kid with a "crew cut" . . . . And then there are the "skinheads" and "punks" who often promote and thrive on anarchy, violence, intolerance, versus the mellow hippy conception . . . . And then there's "female intuition"--perhaps which is related to the woman's tendency towards longer hair . . . ?

The first thing the military does, symbolically, is shave the head--conform and get ready to kill.  And again, I can't help but notice, especially in recent years, how more and more of these para-military type cops and S.W.A.T. unit guys go for that shaved intimidating head/face look . . . more and more of them outright bald . . . . 

Hey, no big deal.   Just making some observations, fwiw . . . . . . bro. t

Black Elk's Prayer

Grandfather, Great Spirit, once more behold me on earth and lean to hear my feeble voice.
You lived first, and you are older than all need, older than all prayer.
All things belong to you -- the two-legged, the four-legged, the wings of the air, and all green things that live.
You have set the powers of the four quarters of the earth to cross each other.
You have made me cross the good road and road of difficulties, and where they cross, the place is holy.
Day in, day out, forevermore, you are the life of things.



*[In 1 Corinthians 11:14 the Greek word translated "long hair" is komao which means tresses of hair or locks. It comes from the root word meaning "to take care of" which indicates some kind of preparation to make the hair appear in tresses. Komao appears only three times in the Bible, and all three times are right here in the 11th chapter of 1 Corinthians. The usual word for hair is thrix. It is possible Paul is referring to some pagan practice of fixing the hair in a feminine manner, and this is what he is condemning for men, although condoning for women. Some hairstyles were considered immodest and condemned in 1 Timothy 2:9 and 1 Peter 3:3. At any rate, Paul would not teach anything contrary to the rest of scripture.]

Saturday, January 7, 2012

When Jesus Rebukes

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Jer. 17:9

"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders." Mat. 15:19

This is how a "man" can know what is in the heart of others.  Desperate wickedness.

And as for lying and/or ignorance . . . it is either a lie or simply foolish ignorance to say that Jesus "never condemned" and that He "only gave quiet grace and mercy."

Yes, He gives grace and mercy . . . but not "only" quietly.  Sometimes he railed.  Have you not read the "7 Woes" in Mathew?  He calls (certain) people murderers, "serpents", "vipers", "hypocrites", "blind guides", "sons of hell" . . . .

 Jesus rebuked his disciples Luke 9:37-56, "O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you and put up with you? . . . . Jesus turned and rebuked them, and they went to another village."

And it was because Jesus was NOT quiet that he was eventually captured, beaten and killed.  Had He been "quiet" . . . few would have bothered with Him--He would have been little trouble or threat.

But He BOLDLY spoke the truth, and regularly pointed out the sins of the people--their lying, their hypocrisy, their love of self . . . and warned them IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that they were headed for HELL if they did not change.

When Peter argues with the Lord, not wanting Him to speak of the terrible events about to happen, Jesus addresses SATAN who is working through Peter, saying, "Get behind me Satan! For you are not on the side of God but of men."

Jesus denounced whole cities: "Then He began to denounce the cities in which most of His miracles were done, because they did not repent.  Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! . . . I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants."  see Matt. 11:20-30

Of course it is not from any anger or hate that I write, but love and concern.  I know that it is Jesus who shows us our hearts, and when He showed me my own awful condition, despite being a generally "good person" . . . it was the REAL beginning of my walk and only then was I capable of being filled with HIS goodness--the dawning of true humility and brokenness.  I am speaking of a specific, supernatural event which happens to a person when they become born again of spirit--that time and place which occurs when you realize how utterly incapable you are of anything good . . . by your own light.  People fool themselves in subtle and devious ways, claiming to be "Christian" but continue on in an unregenerated mode, missing the mark, following their OWN hearts though they assert they follow Christ.  One of the Lord's recurring topics of teaching was this very situation--the hypocrisy involved.

And I simply want to encourage the seeker to avoid complacency and coasting.  The work is constant (until eventual perfection) in order to find and stay in a spiritual/noetic state of being and alertness concerning our utter and absolute need of humility . . . for we are born sinners and continue to sin EVERY DAY.  The BEST of our works are filthy rags compared to His holiness.  Which SHOULD be discouraging as to any vain hope in our own efforts.  The wondrous and awesome ENCOURAGEMENT . . . is believing and trusting that--despite our desperately wicked hearts and proclivity to lying and hypocrisy--God loves us and will save us from this fallen state of self and the world . . . . 


As I said, I know there are plenty of places to go and find comforting words, soothing to self and reassuring.  Heck, there are some places you can go where they will tell you YOU ARE GOD! . . . or, at least a god and full of all knowledge and wisdom and that nothing is wrong with you whatsoever, in fact, you are already perfect, you just don't "know" it yet . . . AND, that soon . . . when the galactic wave hits, aligning with the galactic core and the space elders arrive bringing free energy and immortality . . . you will be able to teleport, levitate, travel to other planets, cavort with "angels", co-create reality and turn this planet into paradise--because YOU have the innate power and ability and wisdom to do so!  And they will also tell you that we are evolving  out of, and beyond, the old, stodgy, self-hating ways of ie., Christianity . . . into a new age where the inherent divinity and goodness within will finally manifest . . . because, ie., religion . . . and books such as the bible . . . were actually just created to control people through fear and self-loathing and all we really need is just to love ourselves first and then . . . . 

Anyway, you get the idea . . . . 

btw, I spoke with Zeph today about some of this  . . . and also about preempting coming troubles by getting into position NOW . . . .

Brother Thomas ©2015

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