"Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers." --Psalm 1:1
It is fascinating to me--and a pleasant surprise as well--this experience of re-engaging with my "passion" (oy, I hate that overused term, but it happens to clearly apply) for doing music. My first and supreme "passion" (next to Truth-seeking) was . . . football. Ha, yes . . . I'm a "jock" of sorts. Well, I was never into the "jock" culture . . . but I've always loved physical sport and activity, including, by-the-way, just plain old manual labor work. Football--being a running back and scoring lots of touchdowns--came more naturally to me than anything and it's what I wanted to do growing up. Music was there as well, but I was actually more gifted as a running back than anything else I liked to do or might have had gifts in. Following the abandonment of that, after my mom's second divorce, which devastated me roughly at age 13, MUSIC (again besides my primary interest in seeking God and Truth, which was always first) was my next "thing". But the responsibilities of family life made me put that on the shelf to a major degree, although I've always kept my hand in it off and on through the years. . . .
But the spiritual dangers of rock 'n' roll and the music business generally were also factors. I was always conflicted as I pursued that dream, knowing and experiencing the carnal temptations and spiritual influences that surrounded the whole genre, including the very acts of writing and performing music--utilizing the muses of the dark realm to power much of the creativity that occurred.
I believe there are spirits leading and guiding virtually all the various areas of human activity, and if you open yourself up to the presiding (spirits) of the terrain you are planning to explore and conquer, well, they do come in to your life, take hold . . . and will take you on an excursion, which may even include worldly success and proficiency in that activity/proclivity/talent. . . .
It is a very different experience, however, operating in that particular sphere (the creative, performing, music sphere) as a born again, regenerating Christian.
While it is still exciting and satisfying, it is also a bit hollow, albeit in a good way. What's missing are those carnal passions and egotistical energies/spirits which use to take over and drive the thing.
It truly is now . . . the sense of being "in it" but not "of it." There is a freedom and a protection involved--"freedom in Christ" I presume--which was never there before; which COULDN'T be there before . . . as He was not Lord of my life but, by default, the "prince of this world" was. . . .
I can already see how certain spiritually brittle and falsely judgmental "Christians" can . . . and likely will condemn what I am doing, should it ever get far enough for them to notice . . . as they knee-jerk and out-of-hand rush to conclusions . . . based on shallow presuppositions they harbor according to their own dogmatic and personal biases.
I am, however, more convinced than ever . . . that the "new creature" God makes of a once lost, "child of wrath" . . . is able to walk through "fires" . . . mingle with "publicans and sinners" . . . and move boldly, upright and unscathed through the "valleys of dry bones" . . . so as to be able and called upon to take the Light of Truth and the message of the Master into regions desperately needing such, but where few dare go, or cannot go lest they be subsumed by the darkness there.
For sure, there was a time I could not, would not (and thus did not) dare to go too far there, because I knew I was too susceptible to the accompanying temptations (primarily spiritual), for one thing . . . and for another, it was obvious that God was keeping ways blocked and doors shut anyhow. Which . . . goes back to what I mentioned the other day . . . how grateful I am that God takes active measures more than we realize or appreciate--to PRESERVE us from . . . and thus not "lead us" INTO (acting on) temptations, where we would surely fail, given half a chance. . . .
All of this to say . . . simply, praise God! His will be done in all, whatever way it goes . . . and it is wonderful thing to "wait on the Lord" . . . while "waiting (serving) on the Lord" . . . trusting His timing and protection and wisdom on practical matters in life. Which "life" has only just begun . . . and will continue . . . beyond this brief mortal flash . . . into glorious eternity. . . .