Hungering, thirsting for God. . . . I find it the most blessed state to be in. . . .
[First, thank you for your prayers, comments and consideration! From some research I finally sat down and did it is looking a lot like what's called "cluster headaches", though I have a a couple other odd symptoms not usually mentioned along with that which accompany. But have appt. with our PA tomorrow--]
Now . . . GOD! And getting through these times . . . when the opposition is so blatant and fierce. And really, I thank God that what irritates me the most . . . is not so much how hard it is to survive as we once were able, nor how disgusting it is to see the flat out lies and manipulations and propaganda of the would-be communist/socialist globalist tyranny as it tears at the base fabric of our institutions, values, families. . . . No, what I am pleased to find is how offended I am for God's sake--what all this rebellion and flaunting means in the face of the giving, holy, patient Creator! THAT is the outrage! Not that our country or churches or schools or health care system are being wholly upended and perverted such as to enslave and destroy us socially, politically, culturally; but that all of this evil and sin is taking place foremost against the one, true and living, sovereign God of all that is!
And the key to not being swept along with it--where the enemy seeks to normalize the most abominable sins and evil--is to realize personally what an affront we ourselves are to that same holy God.
I find it an interesting and glorious paradox of sorts . . . that the more I realize my own baseness and wretched condition of sin, performed in the face of God daily--the more devastated I am and humbled by obtaining a clearer and clearer view of the situation--the safer and more comforted I feel.
It is when we march along, barely aware of how sinful we actually are, mostly giving lip service to profession of belief . . . that there lurks a deep angst and unease, even though our hearts are hardened.
When the conscience is seared . . . there is a superficial confidence and stoic getting by . . . while Rome is burning--but truly, in the depths of the soul there is terror and panic and confusion. There is no real sense of direction and guidance from the Spirit, if one is honest, and a general mode of floundering along, vaguely "hoping for the best."
But when the heart is pierced and the conscience woefully tender to one's own sleights and blasphemies and hardness toward blessed God . . . then at last some real connection is made and the Spirit has some ground wherein to inhabit the temple. Real, fall on your face humility . . . is what is needed most AND most efficacious in meeting the trials and oppression of these days with grace and a sanctified spirit.
At the foundation of it all . . . is still the very real problem that we simultaneously neglect to comprehend the magnitude of God's glory and perfect character AND how truly vile, sinful, rebellious and wretched we are are in comparison. Our typical understanding and appreciation of this gulf . . . is laughable, ludicrous; and will be soul-wrenchingly horrifying on the day of judgment!
Oh how much better it is to begin to grasp it now. Immediately blessings and comfort follow in the wake of finally facing and seeing the truth in this. At last, the Holy Spirit has a point of entry through the otherwise sealed-off and hardened heart, soul and mind. . . .
I expect to be hammering on this issue some more; I am dealing with it myself, thank God--where the "great dressing down" is only the warm-up act! Lol. Praise God! And thank you again for your thoughts, prayers, and concern (especially YOU:), you know who you are, God bless you).