What a clusterschtoop . . . things are right about now . . . . . . . . heh........
Very rarely, but occasionally I too get discouraged. Not in a deep, desperate way. . . .
More like a tired, weary of the struggle kind of ennui . . . and just wanting Jesus to come back already and wind this thing up. The blindness, wickedness, apathy and confusion which is the world, sometimes gets to feeling like being stuck at the bottom of a sewer, surrounded by muck and stench, and the loud, angry fools there are rioting and shouting for more--MORE sewage and all that has led to it!
And the struggle--the constant, relentless fight for mere survival; things breaking, falling apart . . . the tax man, high prices, dishonest workers and clients, food and energy prices rising, rising . . . with no hope in sight as the megalomaniacal collectivists/Utopian-"humanists" rob and destroy capital and any opportunity to climb out of the hole . . . with all the brainwashed mushrooms sprouting in the muck attacking and hating the very people, messages, truth that can save them and rectify the deteriorating situation. . . .
And to know that I could use my talents and charisma, if I wanted, to concoct ear-tickling stories and product which would gain a following to entice, seduce interest and support, as so many charlatans do, amassing fortune . . . while the plain truth and integrity towards the Word elicits shrugs and disinterest or worse--betrayal and backstabbing; for it is ever obviously so true that "none seek after God" . . . but a few, for the way to destruction is broad, wide, easy. . . .
Yeah, sometimes--not often, thankfully--I feel disgusted by the whole, stupid rot of it! The lukewarmness . . . the prevaricators professing love for God but still just loving themselves . . . fair-weather friends . . . people who get money and "change", their real hearts revealed once opportunity arrives . . . did I mention backstabbers, gossips who smile to your face but subvert and collude in the darkness? . . .
Blah, blah, blah, lol . . . . . . Heh, and yes, I'm sick of myself too and the areas where I fail and deserve to be in a crap situation where practically all I can do now is barely manage to hold on. I've known for years and years where society, politics and the economy were headed--been talking and warning about it . . . yet am in no better condition to deal (materially) with it than if I had been clueless like most everyone else has been (and the many, stunningly, who still are.)
BUT . . . . . . Then, like I say, thankfully, I don't get fed up too often. Hardly ever. Just sometimes, it all seems to pile at once and I look around exasperated . . . and think, "Man, is this stupid!"
And then, fairly quickly, I recall the "hope that lies within" . . . which is REAL . . . and far and above and beyond . . . the pesky, discouraging temporal concerns. HIS story is what it's about. I recall that the "present sufferings are not worthy to be considered against the future glory" He provides. I consider all those who have it so much harder even right now--millions, billions even, having come and gone, or still here, suffering miserably at the hands of the wicked and the fallen state of this corrupt world. There, but for the grace of God, go I. . . . . . . . . . .
Then, a sense of humor kicks in; at myself, at the ridiculousness of the situation; at how desperately mad and insane and foolhardy and moronic . . . this world is as it is run by those who hate God and hate God's people. We are definitely getting a good, blatant object lesson . . . in Man's utter inability and ineptness . . . to "call the shots", beginning with the First Couple and ever since. . . .
And no, I won't shape my writing or avoid certain thorny issues' won't sugar coat and ear tickle with syrupy "new agey" garbage or Christly-cloaked humanism. I will not concoct "novel" theories and "new" interpretations which fascinate for a while, but lack veracity; will not angle to be "hip and relevant", "seeker-sensitive" while hiding the blunt, hard, awe-striking character of the Most High along with His gentler side . . . . . . . I just want the truth, plain and simple, and I praise God He made me so . . . to want it and able in any way to share it with other like-minded . . . as we walk the pilgrim road . . . . . . . . .
So . . . . . praise God . . . . . . back to it and God bless! :)