It is something I write a lot about . . . and imagine I will until the end . . . .
That is, the dangers of drifting . . . . (Heh, I hear a song or album title in that: "The Dangers Of Drifting")
But really, I am nowadays hyper-sensitive . . . and on the alert . . . for those times when, either the Spirit seems to recede and/or there is an exceptional amount of (gotta say it) evil oppression.
How easy it is for a day, and then another day . . . to slip by . . . where you don't really think much of God, of the cross, of His most gracious sacrifice--the Gospel, in a word.
Interestingly, as I have gone deeper and longer into the Word, and, I dare say, along in the "sanctification" process--The Walk--it is not so much that the old self, with the old thoughts and temptations and fallen promptings etc., have diminished . . . but, rather, I find I am just becoming more and more pained by them.
Which is good thing!
It is amazing and happily alarming to me . . . to have the experience, where, I just get done listening to an amazing, convicting sermon, or have spent a good morning in strong, earnest, Spirit-filled prayer . . . and then, just as real and sudden, have some horrendous thought or emotion strike my mind, as if no hallowed ground had just been created at all. The devil comes roaring in with a vengeance! "Oh, so you think you're getting holy? How 'bout this--!" . . . and I instantly horrified at some notion or random day-dreaming that I awake to see inhabiting my being.
In the old days, before being Born Again and before being a sold-out follower in the Lord, I would not worry much and could shrug away these inner invasions and lurches of suddenly rebellious spirit . . . . Or, I might even go with it . . . only to wake up some time later, in the proverbial ditch amongst pigs and eating their food.
Nowadays, however, the regret and shame and humiliation which accompany honestly realizing that I am still a wicked, fallen sinner, and only by God's grace do I ever do anything worthwhile or good--I find most comforting and assuring that I am continuing on in the Pilgrim's Progress . . . .
Oh, how easy it is to drift--to become lax and falling back to old ways and the frivolous lack of urgency which accompanies one not constantly in reverence of God's awe-full truth. Usually, when you find yourself in an ongoing funk, missing that wonderful sense of grace and peace that abounds when the Spirit is clearly present . . . it is because somewhere, lurking in the shadows of your heart, mind and being . . . is an unaddressed inner foe--some idol you yet cling to that you maybe thought you had moved beyond, but no, there it is, still rooting around in your subconscious causing disturbance; still residing like a hidden cancer in the corners of your heart.
Also, there is usually the idol-monster's sidekick, "king Me" who thinks they deserve better--that they are owed more than what they are getting.
What I do, when I discover these persistent, joy-stealing parasites, is to recall just how utterly destitute I am and would be . . . without Jesus and His saving mission. I deserve NOTHING but hell, of my own. And I make sure that these are not just words I repeat, but that I make an earnest and hard effort . . . to recall and know this fact! . . . so that at once, I am back to just feeling completely, desperately grateful to have been found by the Lord--SAVED!--and that any inconveniences and/or deprivations in the meantime, in these crazy doomed world, in no way compare! Indeed, it is an embarrassment and shameful to even start to grumble or complain . . . when I think of what He did and what He went through, on behalf, when I deserved not one shred of it and STILL DON'T!
NOW . . . we're getting somewhere!
Next, I simply refuse to drift. I will not accept any significant amount of time to accrue where I am not remaining and behaving prayerful and connected in relationship, within my soul, to and with the Holy Spirit and the Person of Jesus Ha Machiach. I "stop the presses." It is too dangerous and frightening . . . to continue walking through the day, around in this mucked-up wicked world, surrounded by God's haters and enemies, to NOT fight constantly to be close to Him.
It is up to Him then to grant some peace and light, but regardless of when and how and how much He does . . . does not change my determination to be in His holy shadow, close to His hem. Evil and the entropy of this errant creation is not going to tear me away . . . . And I know, because I have the faith and believe, that He will NOT let me go, no matter how or what I may be spiritually feeling. My faith is not based in feeling, thank God, or it would be prone to drift and wreck a hundred times on any given day. My faith in knowing that He will not lose me, is based in reading and believing His Words and promises . . . .
"My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand." --John 10:29
". . .for he hath said, I WILL NEVER LEAVE THEE, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5
". . . and, lo, I am with you ALWAY, even unto the end of the world. Amen." Matthew 28:20
I refuse, anymore . . . to be tempted into drifting; to be drawn subtly aware into laxness. Especially now, I would suggest that the enemies of God and the principalities and powers which seek to harm, derail, confuse and destroy His disciples, are strong as ever and extraordinary measures are to be taken to hold fast to the truth, turning neither to the left nor the right, continuing along the strait and narrow . . . for many, HE says, will wander the broad and easy ways . . . which ends in destruction, and there WILL come a time when the gates are shut and there is no more chance to enter!
"There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out." --Lk:13:28