The Great Dressing Down

It's a little heavy here, lol, I was thinking . . . . I sometimes imagine certain eyes checking in and finding it intolerable--this constant recitation on urgencies, Jesus . . . demons and the devil!  Who talks about demons and the devil as if they were real and related to daily pertinent issues? 

Sorry 'bout that. 

But, I've always been a serious boy--a friend once said, amused, "always thinking, thinking, thinking....." 

However, I know that there are countless millions of places to watch and read silly, pointless diversions . . . and "love and light" happy talk pages saying all is well . . . we shall be "ascending" soon . . . covered with angel and star and rainbow graphics . . . and piles of funny bits, satire, post-ironic hipster paeans one can spend endless hours giggling at . . . . And I do enjoy a good laugh, and we have an ongoing dry, gallows humor around here, never too far from a chuckle . . . so I'm not down on sometimes needed inane diversions....

Just that, since a child . . . God . . . God and more God has been the main interest and reality and the purpose of life . . . and it really is a daily thing overall--the ongoing ins and outs of "the Walk", sharing and learning any "tips" during the engagement . . . . And that is mostly the impetus for this blog space . . . so . . . . Sorry if it seems monotonous and heavy to some; I hope to those who are similarly engaged in the journey of faith though that the relevance of -- . . . .blah, blah, blah......  ah, nevermind :) ..... lol ....I'm carrying on .  . . . . .

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The great dressing down.  Is wonderful!  And . . . scary . . . and sickening.

Not to put God in a box, but I expect it happens at some point to EVERY believer at some point--usually at the beginning, though not always.  Sometimes it can happen later.  You may have generally become a believer . . . made a mental ascent . . . a rough choice . . . and are going about your way . . . even for years and then WHAM! . . . The REAL awakening to the awful condition--to YOUR awful condition--is shown to you and . . . it's a whole new day . . . . . the beginning of a new you.

This is when the Lord shows you what you really are.  All the pretense, the justifying self narratives, self stories--what you tell yourself you are--collapse . . . and you are just there standing naked.  This is the part that is a bit sickening.  Because you will see that you are a liar foremost.  The things you think you do for others, for "good cause" . . . you see . . . are actually for YOU, no matter the gloss you put on it. 
You imagine that others think well of you, admire you in some ways--that you are basically a "good person."  But underneath the veneer is a selfish, weak, lying manipulator.  You see that you rarely if ever truly do things for a selfless purpose, but rather, there is always a motive lurking to ultimately benefit your self. 

You see that for all your brave talk and declarations of faith and integrity, little doubt that, just like Peter and the apostles, if you are faced with acknowledging your faith before others or the "authorities" . . . you would hide, betray and try to save your own skin.  It is easy to imagine oneself a great, potential hero for the faith, for others, but, when the chips are down, you know you are a coward--you would try every which way to get out of difficulty if you could and ONLY when no other option is there, might you then take your lumps.

You realize that you have mean and petty thoughts constantly, chattering on in your mind, the things you DON'T say, but think privately.  You see someone and judge them before you know it . . . looking down on them, thinking yourself better, regardless of what you say and do on the surface.  When He pulls back the mask, you know that you are a vain, petty, self-seeking bum--not a saint, not a "tireless worker in the vineyard."  You are a liar, a fraud, a phony.

You commit adultery in your mind and heart regularly.  You  enjoy when others suffer.  You revel in freudenshade (deriving pleasure in another's misfortune).  You lie to yourself and others.  You secretly long for power, status, wealth, luxury, fame, though you tell yourself you are beyond such vainglories and lusts.  But given half a chance, chances are you would likely find some way to justify to yourself that it was for altruistic purposes that you "compromised" . . . "just a little" . . . to get some great profit on a thing, in a situation.  If the opportunity arose, you would break any number of commandments if great wealth were to be a reward. 

You are so needy and desperate to be loved . . . that . . . if the right person--beautiful, charismatic, seductive--came along . . . and lauded your ego and made you feel incredible . . . even if you were married or they were, you would probably cross the line.

Your fantasies and dreams are monstrous--the ones that hide in the subconscious which you can't control but roil there seemingly without your permission . . . though really, they just reveal what still lurks hidden deep within . . . kept secret in that place that you would be horrified if others could see.

But He sees it . . . . And one day, He SHOWS IT TO YOU, what a worthless, weak, self loving, lying, cheating, adulterous, lustful, vain, greedy bum you are really and truly are.

This is the day of the great dressing down and it is . . . horrifying . . . and liberating.  At least NOW you are getting to somewhere real.  AND you terrifyingly recognize how pathetic your own abilities and situation is and in what dire need you are of A SAVIOUR!  A Master! Who can save you . . . .



If you are thinking, "well, YOU may be those things, and others maybe, I am happy to consider, but ME . . . well, I'm not a liar!  I do LOTS of good things for other people,"  then . . . you are a delusional fool and utterly lost, headed for the hothouse.

Now, for those who HAVE been to this place where your awful condition is made clear . . . YOU know it is the beginning of wisdom . . . and the first tastes of sanctity and holy humility, and it is sweet.  And you can ask for MORE of it!

I cannot imagine--WILL not imagine--going into this coming year and into the judgments due upon the earth at this time . . . without continually striving earnestly to be exposed . . . to my own awful state of destitution.  If I have any sense that I am able to navigate and maneuver and connive a way through the chaos of the day, then I shudder at my pride and the destruction it WILL bring.

So, I long to see myself, as I am--to be dressed down by the Lord, when and where He sees fit, so that there is NO QUESTION in my mind as to my own absolute incapacity and inability to do ANYTHING worthy or worthwhile WITHOUT HIS leading and mercy.  Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, forgive me, a sinner . . . . says it all . . . and is the watchword of the day.

If He hasn't, I would recommend to PRAY for the great dressing down . . . and quick-like . . . .