Sky Colt

Some blessed folk were kind and interested enough to inquire about my son in his first body building competition which happened last Saturday . . . .

Well, here is a photo with his fourth place medal he won. He was disappointed not to place a little higher, but getting a medal at all in a first time attempt we all still felt pretty good about, and he looked great and had a super time. He's a cutey ain't he? Can't tell I'm a little proud, lol.

Again, a little back story on this amazing fella. He was born profoundly deaf, which we did not really realize until he was about a year old. He also had some muscle spasm, cramping problem when he was a baby, so that if you ever held him or laid him on the floor he would immediately arch his back very stiffly backwards, all tightened up. It was a little frightening of course for a young couple. He was our second boy at the time.

When we found out he was deaf, we had some important decisions to make. The general pressure from the "deaf community" and service providers, doctors and such basically said that we needed to get him learning sign language as soon as possible . . . and learn it ourselves.

We were young, on the move, with me trying to break into the music business. For the most part, in those initial years, we simply developed an immediate means of communication on our own, using face gestures, hands, body language and he could hear a teeny bit of loud noises with his first small hearing aids.

We decided early on that we would NOT teach him sign language, because we were determined that he was going to learn speech and after studying the issue a bit, we believed that if he learned sign language, he would never learn speech very well, as he would become dependent on the sign.

We came under a fair degree of pressure from other for this bold decision. Both my wife and I tend to be iconoclastic, however, so it wasn't too uncomfortable to be at odds with some portion of society of another. We've always done our own thing, generally--not much for fittin' in with "the club", whatever clique might be in proximity at any given time--in this case, the "deaf community".

I remember when Skylar was about 4 years old, taking him to a quiet place . . . the stairwell in our little cottage house at the time, and explained to him a little bit about life, space, infinity, GOD, using hand gestures, a little bit of language he understood, eyes, and mostly spirit . . . .

He got it. He was always very smart.

Well, as time went on, cochlear implants became available and my wife researched them and at about age 12 he had surgery and received the digital hearing device in one of his ears, giving him almost normal hearing, at least in one ear.

I remember leaving the hospital, and him looking around, dazed and then stopping shocked asking "what's that?" as a plane flew overhead. Next came his first experiences of hearing things like water running, the refrigerator, birds, music etc.

His speech language was quite delayed, because we had never delved deeply into sign language and he had little vocabulary at that point. But once the cochlear was in, my wife began taking him regularly to speech lessons and we worked on those things constantly at home.

Nevertheless, while he has been a generally happy and involved boy, doing everything that his brothers did . . . going to school . . . learning sports . . . . during high school he started to develop some fairly deep anxieties about his "difference" and was starting to become a bit agoraphobic.

Mostly, through this rough period, while he did maintain his other deaf friends and we tried him several different school settings . . . he began to develop some depression and mostly just wanted to stay at home, on the computer, where he could escape into fantasy worlds . . . . .

We loved and looked over him and did not pressure him and at least got him some experience with a real job at Barnes and Nobles bookstore, which he managed to fulfill for about a year, though the pressure of communication interactions, still gave him great panic sometimes and he really struggled to be in public and interact, and mostly just wanted to be left alone . . . . .

We continued to pray and council him . . . . lots of talks . . . . lots of pep talks and discussions about life and patience through about a three year period . . . . from age 16 through 19.

Obviously, as a sort of over compensation for his insecurities, (I think, at least) along with the general athletic proclivities that run in my family . . . . Sky started getting interested in body building, about three years ago . . . .

It came at a time when he was at his most depressed and when we were finally starting to get quite worried whether he was going to pull it together.

He hadn't been able to work for a couple years, because of generalized anxiety . . . and was virtually a shut-in, living with us, though occasionally still doing things now and again with his old friends . . . . Meanwhile, most of them, however, had gotten involved in drugs, partying, sex and he was uncomfortable being around them. Sky has remained remarkably pure in all respects.

Finally, at our urging and a little more tough love on our part ramping up . . . he started another job which was quite demanding. He started working out with weights at about the same time. And we continued our daily . . . sometimes several times daily . . . talks, exhortations, listening, interaction, helping his brain and spirit get a grip and realize he needed to mature and start venturing into more social interaction and self-sufficiency.

Well, gradually, as his body developed under his increasingly rigorous training and special diet . . . and as learned more about the "sport" and studied it, and became somewhat obsessed with it, and began excelling at his job, things soon began reversing.

He met and developed quite a few new friendships, both with hearing and non-hearing peers, found himself a professional trainer, and delved deeply into what was becoming a real passion and love for him--this body building thing, heh.

We've always encouraged whatever love or passion--so long as it is not destructive, and while warning of any related pitfalls--that our sons have found themselves led toward.

With Sky, vanity and materialism, which might accompany body building . . . just really aren't too much an issue with him . . . and we have discussed those things anyhow. But he is just such a naturally innocent, pureheart . . . well versed in the feeling of the holy spirit and honest as the day is long . . . a direct and simply guy . . . highly intelligent and perceptive and sensitive . . . and also deeply "intuitive/empathic" . . . . that guiding him a bit through the typical shoals of young adulthood, has mostly maintained course,including through the times of depression and anxiety, which he has learned very well to manage and understand . . . . and which don't really . . . or very rarely affect him any more.

Also, the choice to force him to learn speech, as opposed to sign language, has turned out very well, in our opinion. His deaf friends who learned sign, who are his age now (22) cannot speak at all . . . and are virtually unintelligible when they attempt to talk. True, they can sign a blue streak, but if the other person doesn't know sign language . . . there is no communication.

Meanwhile, Sky can talk and listen back and forth with a strangers . . . understanding most language, and though you can tell he is deaf, slightly from his deaf-sounding speech . . . just barely . . . and he can even talk on the phone! Also, he has now picked up sign language and knows that too. But as far as operating on his own in public, buying things at the store, asking directions, helping customers etc., no problem. He talks, and his friends who learned sign when they were little, never developed the speaking ability and so, now solely rely on hand communication.

So, anyway, sorry about the long bio . . . heh, just sort of flowed . . . . But he IS an inspiration, I think, and he loved participating in the competition, taking 4th place in a couple different events, and many of the judges and regular fans commented on well he did for his first comp and that he has a bright future in the sport if he wants to pursue it.

We are so proud of him . . . though he is a pain in the butt with his constant eating and messes, lol, and he has quite the dry, sharp witted sense of humor and always has had.

Interestingly, he has had supernatural experiences up the wazoo since being little, and shares similar proclivities as myself in this area . . . . Sometime, I intend to talk about a whole "alien abduction" period . . . regarding him . . . describing to us . . . when he was little . . . and the most haunted, crazy room he lived in, in our last house, which he still talks about . . . what went on there--just WOW! type stuff........

But, he absolutely recognized the Holy Spirit, and is amazing in his self-discipline and generally righteous lifestyle, avoiding so many of the self-destructive pitfalls that have captured a good swath of his hearing-impaired, childhood friends . . . . . .

thanks for the interest and I hope any of this relay is some blessing encouragement to ya'll who yourselves may struggle from time to time, with, ie., anxiety, depression, insecurity . . . . . It CAN be worked through, with God's help and guidance, for sure.

God is with you,
brother thomas